Bobby Deol, in a recent candid conversation, shared how his wife — Tanya — has made life easier. “My wife does everything. She has 3 kids…I consider myself to be her third kid. She works herself, and handles my work. In the sense that, finances and everything, she handles. Usne mujhe bigaad diya hai (She has spoiled me),” he told Times Now.
Reflecting, Rutuja Walawalkar, psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, says that what Bobby Deol said wasn’t surprising. Rather, it was how he openly appreciated his wife that made the difference.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
While success is often attributed to individual effort, recognising the people who provide unwavering support behind the scenes adds a deeper perspective to the journey.
From a psychological perspective, Walawalkar says that appreciation is the single most underrated yet important component of a healthy relationship. “People generally go into relationships with the expectation of love, but the thing that remains constant and necessary even in the latter stages of any relationship is the feeling of being recognised,” she tells indianexpress.com.
According to her, the most common mistake that couples make regarding their relationships is the belief that love communicates appreciation by itself. But this is not always true.
“As people become busier with work, family and other duties, many start to believe that their loved ones know that they are thankful for everything they do. Unspoken appreciation becomes invisible labour as people keep on doing and giving without receiving appreciation in return, which eventually leads to feelings of neglect,” she elaborates.
However, publicly expressed appreciation adds some extra emotional meaning to this feeling. “This is not an attempt to show others that you are in a relationship or to receive approval from anyone else. On the contrary, it is a sign of respect. It shows your partner that you are proud of what you are doing, and not ashamed of expressing it to everyone,” she explains.
Walawalkar reiterates that the most important thing about Bobby Deol’s remarks is the fact that he publicly acknowledged his wife for those duties that people tend to ignore or take for granted. “It is true that managing money, taking care of everyday life issues, providing support emotionally and running a house requires consistent efforts. However, they are hardly ever recognised although being the very basis for any family life,” she says.
Walawalkar also talks about the positive cycle effect in relationships appreciation tends to have.
“Once someone is recognised, it becomes easier to motivate him to keep on showing his emotional investment in the relationship. The act of being grateful may trigger similar actions back, thus making a setting wherein both parties feel recognised rather than criticised and unappreciated. The little things end up forming the emotional bond in the relationship,” she informs.
In general, healthy relations are not created only by romantic gestures but by everyday recognition and appreciation of the things that your partner does for you. “A simple thank you, complimenting your partner and recognising the efforts they make in front of others can have a big effect on psychology,” Walawalkar concludes.
